New Poll: Homosexuals = Bad; Sinful – Carrie = Martyr; Angelic

May 25, 2009

Maddie Shmagegliggher, the head of the National Organization for Mammary Enhancement, has just released a new poll surveying the opinions of the people of the entire United States of America.*

The poll asked many questions, including the following:

  • Would you rather have a homosexual person or a Christian living next door to you and your children?
  • Since the infallible Christian Bible prohibits sex between men, are homosexuals who are active in their promiscuous lifestyle sinful?
  • Since research** shows that homosexuals are more likely to molest children and be criminals, would you want them anywhere near you and your family?
  • Is a homosexual criminal who has murdered his own mother a good person or a bad person?
  • Would you call someone who suffers at the hands of their beliefs a martyr?
  • Which of the following most closely describes Carrie Prejean: pencil, string of binary data, golden-haired martyr.
  • If you dressed up Ms Prejean in a white robe and feathered wings, what being would she most closely resemble?
  • Given the choice, which is a better decision: getting breast implants or committing patricide?

This poll was able to definitively determine that most citizens of the greatest country on earth believe that homosexuals are evil, sinful, and law-breakers. Public opinion on Carrie Prejean, however, has never been higher, as people glowingly approve of her decisions and conduct. Obviously, because public opinion trumps all the legal gymnastics in the world, homosexual “marriage” should be banned in this nation permanently and forever and ever. And Ms. Prejean should be given a monument. Perhaps it should resemble the Krakus Mound, although since she is such a picture of greatness, there should be two standing regally side by side instead of just one of them.

*Most respondents legally resided in Utah, despite the fact that they were surveyed in other states at the time of the poll.

**See the work of the esteemed scientist and Christ-follower Dr. Paul Cameron for more information.


“Carrie Prejean Day” is (Hopefully) June 1st

May 9, 2009

Could June 1st become “Carrie Prejean Day?”

Trustee Jim Gibson said he wants to make June 1 “Carrie Prejean Day” in Vista Unified School District.Prejean graduated from Vista High School in 2005. Said Mr. Gibson: “As far as I’m concerned, she’s a great role-model, and she’s a person who needs to be emulated.” We coudn’t agree more.  In response, Ms. Prejean said she felt “honored.” And I’m sure her additional assets make her feel doubly honored. Jim Gibson is a Godly American Christian, who tried valiantly to get the school board to unanimously endorse California’s Proposition 8, the law that, should Jesus have His way, will be the final nail in the coffin of homosexual “marriage.” His wife is a director with Concerned Women of America, which also opposes the perverted, dirty, unGodly sexual acts of homosexual men being justified through something those men want to call “marriage.”

Mr. Gibson seems to be facing an uphill battle – but we have created an image to mark the day, one which we at NOME hope he will adopt for his righteous crusade.carrieprejeanday

NOM president Maggie Gallagher Defends Against Homosexual Bigot Perez Hilton

May 7, 2009

A recent CNN spot on Larry King Live shows the President of the National Organization for Marriage, Maggie Gallagher, heroicly defending the case for opposite marriage against perverted homosexual bigot potty-mouth Perez Hilton. Perez kept trying to steer the conversation to some stuff he called “the facts” or something ridiculous like that but the real fact is, Carrie Prejean is a courageous Christian who didn’t deserve to be called several names we’re not going to mention on this website. AND, in addition to this, Perez Hilton is a dirty homosexual who does dirty things with other men. How can we trust him if he is so unrepentently perverted? I’ve seen opposite marriage hero Peter LaBarbera’s online diaries. He has first-hand seen and experienced the perverted nature of these people. They are disgusting and obsessed with sex. No one else is as obsessed with sex as they are, and Perez Hilton is no exception, since he is a member of their tribe.

Even if Carrie Prejean loses her tiarra over some photographs that were taken like a hundred years ago, she will still have Jesus Christ’s tiarra to wear on her head. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sharing it with her.

First Ms. Prejean Strips, Now Miss CA Organization Might Strip

May 6, 2009

News is coming in that Miss California, Carrie Prejean, might be stripped of her crown for stripping for the cameras. But we at NOME suspect something different. Why would the organization that provided the endowment for Ms. Prejean to invest in her endowments suddenly turn on her? It can’t be simply the issue of a photograph. It’s obvious to us that homosexuals have infiltrated the organization just like they infiltrated the 1974 American Psychological Association in order to politically motivate them in removing the mental illness of homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. This is nothing but a smear campaign from them. And they are angry. Angry that Ms. Prejean had the courage to stand up for opposite marriage. And, to quote one Michael Scott, Regional Manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin, they are attacking her  “because she had the courage to augment her boobs.”

Ms. Prejean has already taken steps to say she is sorry. And as long as she has earnestly repented, she gets a free pass. No big deal. Moving on. The homosexual bigots who hate Christianity cannot silence her and cannot stop Natural Law as expressed by Godly opposite marriage.  Unlike Ms. Prejean, who has apologized for her behavior, homosexual perverts like Perez Hilton continue to do disgusting, perverted, unGodly, unnatural, tittilizing acts with other men without apologizing or repenting for it.

Now, the Miss California Organization might claim that she violated her contract. But why would she have violated her contract? She obviously knows all about honorable contracts, since she supports marriage between one man and one woman, God’s highest and most holy contract for the past 5,000 years. No, this is just a smear campaign. She lost the Miss USA crown because the homosexually-controlled media did not approve of her courageously Christian response to Perez Hilton and now she’s in danger of losing her Miss CA crown for daring to show that Christians can be beautiful on the inside and out.

Ms. Prejean Not Afraid to Bare Her Soul OR Her Bangers

May 5, 2009

NOME has recently obtained a photograph of Carrie Prejean heroicly witnessing her “truth and grace” to the Nations. We are unsure of whether this was snapped before or after her airbag upgrade; but we have decided that it would be hypocritical to embrace her recently inflated balloons without also embracing her original God-grown mellons. We wish to share this picture with you just as Ms. Prejean has courageously shared so many things with us, the world, and the opposite-marriage movement.

Please take note, however, that this is a family site with family values. Therefore, we have taken care to lovingly alter the picture in such a way that it is guaranteed not to incite lust in the hearts of those who look upon it.

Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, Ms. Prejean exposes her bazongas to the Lord and to the world.

Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, Ms. Prejean exposes her bazongas to the Lord and to the world.


Concerning Our Supposed LDS Affiliation

May 4, 2009

Some people have assumed that, just because we support the zoobies of opposite-marriage proponent Carrie Prejean, that we are affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Let me assure you that we are not associated with them!

The fact that we are not associated with them was brought up by long-time contributor and active board member Bishop Alan Smithee, who leads the Ward of Saline Loch, Utah.

Just because the Mormon Church donated hundreds of thousands of dollars and countless man hours to fight non-opposite marriage in California and Carrie Prejean happens to be Miss California doesn’t mean they are the powerful financial underwire keeping the jiggling threat of bankruptcy at bay.

And even if some people who give us lots and lots of money and go knocking on door after door getting people to join our cause happen to be LDS Saints, well, we have no control over knowing or not knowing the religious affiliation of those knockers.


May 2, 2009

The National Organization for Mammary Enhancement supports boob enhancement for God-fearing American Patriots. We support Carrie Prejean, “Miss California,” for deciding to augment her knockers. She is a faithful Christian, as evidenced by her reply to Judge #8’s question at the Miss USA pageant.

NOM’s decision to give glory to her as a staunch supporter of opposite marriage was a brilliant decision. With her celebrity status and upgraded rack, she and the twins will bust their way through the conservative world. And now that non-opposite marriage is overtaking our nation, we need those persuasive bezooties on our side more than ever.

But remember, we can’t do this alone. It takes hard work and funding to keep this organization abreast. Boobs need your support. Your padded 18-hour seamless support. Please donate today. Visit the “Donate” page for more information about donations.

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